How often do we tell ourselves, “I just don’t have time for self-care”? If we’re honest, probably more than we’d like to admit. But let’s be real—is it truly about time, or are we actually avoiding (and bypassing) something deeper?
We trick ourselves into believing that self-care is optional, selfish, or something we’ll eventually get to. Meanwhile, exhaustion, resentment, and overwhelm quietly take over. It’s time to break free from this cycle and stop gaslighting ourselves into burnout. Here’s how we do it—and why it’s time to shift the narrative.
1️⃣ “I’ll take care of myself after I finish everything else.”
Reality check: There will always be more to do. If we don’t carve out time now, we never will.
How often do we put ourselves last, thinking we’ll rest after we get everything done? But the truth is, the to-do list never ends. One task leads to another, and suddenly, there’s no space left for us.
This is one of the biggest lies we tell ourselves—that self-care can only happen after we’ve checked off every task, helped every person, and made sure everything is running smoothly. But the to-do list never ends. There will always be emails to answer, dishes to clean, and people who need something from us.
The truth? Waiting until “everything is done” means self-care will never happen. Nobody earns the right to rest—we need it in order to keep showing up fully. It’s time to flip the script and schedule self-care like we would any other commitment. Because we deserve to be a priority, too.
What if we made self-care a part of how we move through life, rather than an afterthought? What if, instead of pushing through exhaustion, we gave ourselves permission to pause—right now, in the middle of the chaos?
2️⃣ “Other people need me more.”
We can’t pour from an empty cup. Showing up fully for others starts with showing up for ourselves.
We tell ourselves that everyone else comes first to support the story of being selfless – a “good girl ” – who is kind and generous. That our energy is best spent tending to others before tending to ourselves. But in reality, running on empty doesn’t serve anyone. When we’re drained, stressed, and overwhelmed, we’re not showing up as the best version of ourselves —for our family, friends, or colleagues.
Think of it this way: If our energy is depleted, how can we give our best to others? Prioritizing ourselves isn’t selfish—it’s essential. We know the truth: when we prioritize ourselves, we’re actually able to give more. More patience, more love, more presence. Taking care of ourselves isn’t taking away from others—it’s what allows us to show up fully. The stronger, calmer, and more fulfilled we are, the more we can support the people we care about without burning out ourselves.
3️⃣ “Self-care is a luxury, not a necessity.”
Nope. It’s the foundation of mental, emotional, and physical well-being—just like food, water, and sleep.
Somewhere along the way, we started associating self-care with bubble baths, spa days, and indulgent treats—something we could do only if we had “extra” time. But the truth? It’s a necessity.. But real self-care isn’t a luxury—it’s survival. It’s setting boundaries, getting enough sleep, nourishing your body, and giving yourself permission to pause, reset, and recharge.
Think about it: We wouldn’t skip eating or drinking water because we were “too busy,” so why do we neglect the practices that keep our minds and bodies well?
When we shift our mindset and treat self-care as essential—not optional—we begin to notice something powerful: everything else in life flows more easily when we are well.
It’s time to ditch the guilt and recognize self-care for what it truly is: a non-negotiable investment in self.
4️⃣ “If I slow down, I’ll fall behind.”
Truth bomb: Resting and resetting actually help us move forward with more clarity, energy, and efficiency.
We’ve been conditioned to believe that slowing down means losing momentum. In a world that glorifies hustle culture, slowing down or taking a break can feel like falling behind. But the irony? Burnout is what actually slows us down. Ever noticed how much harder everything feels when we’re exhausted?
When we push through exhaustion, our focus diminishes, creativity suffers, and even simple tasks feel overwhelming. But when we rest, reset, and recharge, we come back stronger, sharper, and more productive.
High-performing athletes don’t train 24/7—they rest strategically so their bodies can recover and grow stronger. The same applies to us. Rest isn’t a setback; it’s a power move.
5️⃣ “I don’t have time.”
We make time for what matters. Even five minutes of deep breathing, stretching, or journaling can shift everything.
Here’s the hard truth: We all have the same 24 hours in a day. The difference? What we prioritize.
The idea that we need hours of free time for self-care is a myth. Even five minutes of deep breathing, stretching, or journaling can shift our mindset and energy. It’s about consistency, not duration.
Instead of saying “I don’t have time,” try saying “It’s not a priority”—and see how that feels. Let’s practice asking, “How can I create space for what truly matters?”
If it doesn’t sit well, it’s time to rearrange our priorities and give ourselves the care we deserve.
Final Thoughts: It’s Time to Stop Gaslighting Ourselves
The truth is, we have time. We are worthy. And self-care isn’t selfish—it’s essential.
When we respect and honor ourselves first, we set the standard for how others treat us. We show the world that we deserve care, kindness, and love—because we’re willing to give those things to ourselves first. By meeting our own needs, nurturing our inner child, and prioritizing our well-being, we free our relationships from unspoken expectations and allow them to thrive from a place of wholeness rather than lack.
Breaking free from these beliefs isn’t easy, but it starts with one decision: to choose ourselves. Let’s start small, stay consistent, and watch how everything begins to shift. Self-care isn’t just about us—it’s a ripple effect, shaping how we show up in every connection we have. When we choose ourselves, we create space for deeper, more authentic relationships.
💡 What’s one small act of self-care we can commit to today? Let’s hold each other accountable—drop yours in the comments below! 💬✨
Are you ready to turn burnout into breakthrough? Join an upcoming WANDER daylong workshop in Park City, UT or venture into the wild with us on a multi-day retreat. Reach out for a connection call HERE >>
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